iMac



 

 

Translation Journal
 
Caught in the Web


Web Surfing for Fun and Profit

Fun

by Cathy Flick, Ph.D.
 
 
 
Caught in the Web template

http://peer-see.com/blog/chumble-spuzz/2006/07/09
http://peer-see.com/blog
Cass Greer found this delightful but scary look at how Chinese kids learn (?) English with building blocks. Don't miss the "Destroy the Evidence" block at the end (no, not a shredder). Truly a cautionary tale to those translators who rely too much on dictionaries. Or Google translation... Check out the whole blog for more entertaining tidbits about life in China from some Chinese-challenged (but they're working on it) foreign English teachers: "Emily & Joshua live in Qingdao, People's Republic of China. peer-see is their blog about life in China. The name is a play on P.R.C., but nobody seems to think it is funny but them."

http://www.vancouvercoffee.ca/archives/2006/11/sammy-lin-coffee-art.html
http://www.justcoffeeart.com/gallery.html
http://bit-of-blarney.blogspot.com/2008/02/coffee-artone-more-time.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Latte-Art

Dorene Cornwell sent me some amazing photos of "coffee art" - forget tea leaves, now they're drawing pictures in the foam of lattes! So I googled "coffee art" a bit and found some more information for your amusement. The blarney site has Irish music in the background for an odd sort of ambience. One spoilsport on the first page points out that the coffee will cool a few degrees while the art is being etched in the foam, claiming that this lessens the quality of the drink... The last link will show you how to do your own.

http://germanenglishwords.com
A nice time-waster that you can pretend is job-related: A dictionary of German words used in English. Paul Gallagher says this is a "fascinating etymology site, with much more; very entertaining." Includes a lot of related links.

http://www.peak.org/~jeremy/dictionary/dictionary/dictionary.php
Also from Paul Gallagher: an American English/British English dictionary. Just what I need when watching britcoms! At least until they start subtitling them for US audiences. Paul says: "Enter search term in appropriate window (left side for AE>BE, right side for BE>AE), or just browse."

http://www.weather.com/outlook/health/fitness/tools/calorie
http://www2.vhihealthe.com/topic/calneed;jsessionid=AWVJGKYU1LUJSCTYAIUDVSQ
http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.htm
Not sure how much this qualifies as fun - but sedentary translators might like to look at these sites for info on how many calories they really need, hunched over the keyboard all day, and what kinds of other activities burn up more. Any excuse to postpone work!

http://www.waynesthisandthat.com
Eclectic collection of information and experiences by Wayne Schmidt "covering everything from kaleidoscopes to electric rocket engines." Pages on different types of writing, chocolate, movies, music, gardening, astronomy, photography, medical problems, sports, science. Easy to read, lots of detail. Translators might be interested the Dragon Naturally Speaking page. Want to make your own books? Check out the bookbinding pages. Warning: This site may be addictive.

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/introducing-the-book-p1.php
Amy Bryant is the culprit responsible for forwarding this gem: "Gutenberg offers 15th-century IT support, to ease the transition from scroll to book." Video with English subtitles.

http://www.complaintschoir.org
Dagmara Troller says: "Nothing to do? Complain!" Yes, you can join a complaints choir and sing about your difficulties with the world.

http://www.goodearthgraphics.com/virtcave
Go spelunking from the comfort of your office. Nice pictures, and links to more info about caves and cave exploring.

http://www.wild-bird-watching.com
Distracted by the birdies outside your office window? Want to get even more distracted? Loads of info on attracting the birds and their habits. And of course birdie photographs.

http://www.warninglabelgenerator.com
Make your own warning labels! Provides the templates and a step where you choose the message, then it generates a label which you can download. Down at the bottom of the page, there is a drop-down menu that will take you to the street sign generator and the tombstone generator.

http://mydrawings.com
Tired of words day in and day out? Getting right brain fatigue? Try this online drawing site to exercise the left side of your brain.

http://archivemaps.com/mapco/london.htm
Carolyn Perkes found this site: "Beautiful maps (can be magnified and downloaded), mainly of the British Isles, especially London (16th, 18th and 19th centuries, one of which is hand-coloured on silk), and Australia, but other maps will be made available in future (e.g.. a map of Europe, 1772 and Paris, 1854). Free."

http://www.indexmundi.com
Margaret Schroeder says you can look up a country or a place here and get a map of it.

http://www.gendocs.demon.co.uk/trades.html
Billy O'Shea says: "Ever wondered what a willeyer does? Or a qwylwryghte? Does a shoe finder really find shoes? How do you become a quarrel picker? Find the answers here."

http://tinyurl.com/2788wd
Carolyn Perkes found a site that gives recordings of birdcalls and transcriptions.

http://www.chowbaby.com/fastfood/fast_food_nutrition.asp
This should inspire you to do some home cooking.... Calorie counts for "fast food."

http://www.mbayaq.org/efc/efc_splash/splash_cam.asp
"Aquarium Cams" from Monterey Bay Aquarium. Not just the fishies: penguins, for example.

http://www.virtualtraveller.org
Browse through pictures from a world traveler as a work break (you can claim some linguistic relevance, I suppose....)

http://www.planarity.net
Great time waster. Dots are connected by lines, and you need to drag the dots so no lines intersect. And of course the number of lines and dots increase in the next level....

http://www.mr-lee-catcam.de
Susan Siewert ran into this site (English and German) that is of course work-related if you have feline assistants. For the assistants, that is. Yes, some German engineer attached a miniature digital camera to the cat's collar, set to take pictures at certain times as Mr. Lee wandered around the neighborhood visiting favorite places and feline friends. All the techie details as well as (of course) the pictures Mr. Lee brought home.

http://www.podcast.net
http://podcasts.yahoo.com
http://www.podcastalley.com
Karin Adamczyk has collected this set of sources for podcasts, sure to help you procrastinate. She accepts no responsibility for missed deadlines.

http://www.jbox.com
http://www.peterpayne.net
Wondering what that Japanese snack in your favorite anime really is? Check out the great descriptions and pictures at the J-List site, "an online shop based in Isesaki, Japan, just about in the center of Japan. We ship fun and unique products to those not fortunate enough to live here. " The guy who runs it (Peter) is an American who fell in love with the place (along with falling in love with his Japanese wife...). Includes a bit of history on each item and even some tv commercials. Plenty of other Japanese products and info/commentary on Japanese culture, ranging from Hello Kitty mania to recommended resources for learning Japanese to the latest loose socks craze (yes, you can buy loose socks here). I was hungry and focused mainly on the food. The second link is Peter's blog, more entertaining detail about culture and products and language.

http://www.adultswim.com/video/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crayon_Shin-chan
http://www.adultswim.com/ivc/shinchan/index.html
The first link is to full-length episodes of various Adult Swim shows (Cartoon Network), including the quirky Japanese series now running in the US as Shin Chan. Plenty there to distract you from your work.

The second link is to a good Wikipedia entry on the show Shin Chan that includes lots of info on dubs into various languages, so you can pretend it's work-related. The US is apparently not the only place where the kindergardener Shin Chan violates way too many cultural taboos to be safely put on kid tv. Korea solved the problem by obscuring certain body parts and making the jokes G-rated. Adult Swim's version is visually uncensored and they made the translation aimed definitely at their allegedly adult audience all the way, with ratings ranging from TV-14 [for 14 years old and up] to TV-MA [mature audiences].

The third Shin Chan Interactive link will take you to an episode interlaced with interesting comments by the US dub team (writers, director, actors) explaining some of the liberties they felt they needed to take with the original script (many things were just untranslatable anyway) and also some examples of scripts with alternate lines of varying length for matching the "mouth flaps" in final production, including one version closest to the Japanese original.

http://www.fincher.org/Misc/Pennies
Pages and pages and pages of pictures of US pennies (USD 0.01 coins) stacked in various interesting ways without using any glue (bridges, towers, etc.). From a civil engineering school project. Includes instructions on how to build from one structure to another and how to spectacularly demolish them. Also many pictures from other inspired folk, using pennies and other coins and such. This could be bigger than the traditional house-of-cards...

http://www.thestinkers.com
No, this one isn't a site about skunks. Just the Ultimate Bad Movie Awards.

http://www.wikihow.com
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Cell-Phone-Case
Martin Douch provides this link to complete instructions (pictures included) for a crafts project very relevant for translators "on the move". You can also follow links on the same page to make a duct tape wallet or iPod cover. Or how to knit an iPod cozy. Follow the main link for more enticing articles such as "How to Save Your Home from Foreclosure" or "How to Breed Hamsters" or "How to Get Out of a Car Gracefully Without Showing Your Underwear." Oh, there's one on "How to Save Laptop from Liquid Drainage", definitely a must-view for translators, and has a link to "How to Save a Wet Cell Phone." And of course since it's a wiki, feel free to share your own extensive practical knowledge.

http://tv-links.co.uk/index.html
Rene von Rentzell found this marvelous timewaster for couch potatoes stuck at the computer: "This site has links to TV series as flash movies (degraded quality, but no commercials)." Oh, no! They have Angry Beavers cartoons! I'm doomed! Hey, they have Little Britain, too! So I won't have to move to the UK to see it after all. And Red Dwarf! And Absolutely Fabulous! And Reboot! And ... Gee, thanks, Rene. I can see my income dropping already.

http://labs.jphantom.com/wpm
Samuel Murray found this online typing speed tester. You can even pretend you're working!

http://inhumannews.com
Katja Benevol Gabrijelcic found this hamster-a-day site. Words of wisdom, more or less. "Wear leather, not fur."

http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/System/3517/C4/C4Conv.html Connect Four - play the computer!

http://www.normalroom.com
Not sure how to define "normal", but here are pictures of "normal rooms" in various areas of the world. Thankfully, my office is not included. You can upload your own interior design triumph, though.

http://www.ecogeek.org/content/view/62/1
Conflicted about modern life vs. traditional values? Concerned about the environmental impact of the tools of your livelihood? Get yourself a wooden computer! Or at least a wooden keyboard or mouse. For real. Great pictures.

http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/default.aspx
Guinness World Records online. Never lose a bet again. Searchable. Videos! Including a failed attempt to beat the record for "Most m&m's Flipped with the Ears and Caught in the Mouth in One Minute." (The ear flipper and the mouth catcher are not the same person, in case you're wondering.)

http://www.ravenswingstudio.com/docs/cats.html
Follow the link to see the amazing piano-playing cat Nora in action on YouTube. Unlike all feline assistants of my acquaintance, she does not play the piano with her feet. Wait for the duet with a human pianist... And contrary to some skeptics' comments - there is no catnip on the keys!

http://www.youtube.com
YouTube is a truly hazardous place for the easily distracted. Your home movies now can be inflicted on the world. If you liked watching Nora the Piano-Playing Cat - check out the Pets & Animals section sometime when you don't have a deadline looming.

http://psc.disney.go.com/disneychannel/shows/index.html
http://www.nick.com/turbonick More hazardous timewasters for young-at-heart couch potatoes: the Disney and Nickelodeon tv sites, where excerpts and sometimes full episodes of their cartoons and other shows are periodically available. Just click on the icons for the shows and check out the "videos" buttons to see what they have.

http://97rock.com/music/listenlive.html
Kelly O'Connor says it's worth registering for this net radio site.

http://www.matchstickmarvels.com/Comingin2005-2006.htm
http://www.matchstickmarvels.com/models.html
Susan Siewert says: "If you ever find yourself having a lot of time and a lot of patience, not to mention a lot of matches...." See Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry constructed entirely of 602,000 matchsticks! Some other marvels displayed in the first link.

http://wikimapia.org
Margaret Schroeder says: "Once I entered this site, there was no return.... All sites of interest known to me are now being marked." Wikipedia says: "Google Maps with a wiki system, allowing users to add system, allowing users to add information (in the form of a note) to any location on the globe. Created by Alexandre Koriakine and Evgeniy Saveliev, the project was launched on May 24, 2006 and is aiming towards "describing the whole planet."

http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/en/bia/gallery.html
Another reason to procrastinate. Jo Ann Cahn says this site is "really interesting, beautiful, and... even useful." Biomedical Image Awards 2006.

http://www.atoptics.co.uk/phen800.htm
Even if you are stuck at your computer, you can pretend you are lying on your back on the grass, staring at the clouds.... A gallery of colorful atmospheric phenomena.

http://www.gvetchedintime.com
Has to be seen to be believed. Extraordinarily detailed pictures done on an Etch-a-Sketch.

http://www.feelgoodanyway.com/interactive/Alice.swf Interactive version of Alice in Wonderland, for those days when you're always late anyway.

http://www2.20q.net/fungus.html
Well, here's a twist on Nintendogs and Tamagotchi.... You've heard of watching grass grow? Grow your own virtual mold colony! Fun with fungus.

http://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page
Billy O'Shea claims this is Wikipedia in Scots: "Guid tae see ye at the Scots Wikipædia, the first encyclopædia in the Scots leid!" Hoot mon indeed.

http://jerryandmartha.com/yourdailyart
Take a visual break with a daily dose of art, with a short paragraph about the artist and the background for each piece.

http://www.titoville.com
Paul Makinen claims this is "fun": "home page for Josip Broz Tito. Humorous, sad, glorious, and pathetic, all at the same time....:" The "wives" link can substitute for soap opera breaks.

http://librivox.org
Must be some fun in this for podcast fans especially: "LibriVox volunteers record chapters of books in the public domain and release the audio files back onto the net (via podcast and catalog). Our goal is to make all public domain books available as free audio books."

http://www.oddmusic.com/gallery/index.html
Pictures and sound samples from strange and wondrous musical instruments! Quick - what's an aquaggaswack?

http://www.musipedia.org
Now you can search for a melody! Yes, the Musipedia database is searchable via a virtual keyboard. You can play back your query to make sure it sounds right ... You can even whistle or hum the tune into the search engine.

http://www.sheetmusicarchive.net
Can't use the excuse that you lost all your sheet music in the move - get back to that piano or violin or aquaggaswack during your work breaks after downloading your favorites as printable pdf files from this archive of public domain classical music.

http://www.officemuseum.com

This site is just what you need to realize how good you have it, even buried under your pile of cables and peripherals and dictionaries. "The Early Office Museum engages in research on the history and evolution of offices, antique office machines and equipment, and business technology based on original documents, artifacts, and photographs." Click on the Exhibits link to see the photographs and descriptions.

http://addictinggames.com
Yet another simple time-wasting game site. If totally bored and listless, try Poke the Bunny. If more energetic - well, I liked Bubble Trouble. Many more games at the site, updated regularly.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/yoursay/lost_for_words.shtml
Billy O'Shea passes along this link to "blunders in 10 languages." The BBC says: "Learning a language is all about diving in and having a go. But sometimes our attempts to impress the locals don't go according to plan." Many personal and entertaining anecdotes illustrating the hazards of multilingualism, organized by language and vague topic. Feel free to add your own favorite stories!

http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/42e23aa3/48b9a820
Amy Bryant found this site with funny newspaper clippings, and claims it helped wake her up when in danger of falling asleep over the keyboard (we've all had those kinds of jobs, yes?) . "WARNING: Put away your coffee, tea, etc. first." Funny headlines etc. F'rinstance, there's a rather detailed "employment wanted" ad from a "former marijuana smuggler" that just has to be read to be believed.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/special/canquiz2005
The Globe & Mail provides this guide to What Canadians Think About Everything. Found by Marie Gouin. Take the quiz yourself!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games.shtml
Entirely too nice a collection of flash games to keep you from your work. You can procrastinate with a different one for each client. Arcade, Puzzle, Skill, Sports, Role-Playing, Casino, and of course some Classic and Holiday-themed games.

http://www.yesterland.com
Yesterland! "A theme park on the web featuring discontinued Disneyland attraction." If you could never afford to go in your youth, here's your chance. Loads of information as well as pictures, pictures, pictures. There are some gaps: apparently The Bathroom of Tomorrow isn't there (yet).

http://www.cuteoverload.com
Just as the url says, this is definitely Cute Overload. Gobs and gobs of pictures of entirely too cute non-humans of various species, mainly youngsters. Not just kittens and puppies, either.

http://www.puzzles.com/PuzzlePlayground/WelcomeToPuzzlePlayground.htm
Seems like heresy, but this collection of puzzles, illusions, tricks, and toy ideas actually encourages you to leave your keyboard occasionally. "For the most part they're intended to be played with simple props, such as coins, or by cutting out paper shapes, away from the computer. Check them out on your screen and, for the ones that intrigue you, print out the challenge and play it wherever it suits you."

http://www.engrish.com/category_index.php?category=Instructions
Willeke Barens found this enchanting site of real images of quirky translations mainly from Japanese into English. (Engrish exists elsewhere, but the site claims the Japanese are the most creative practitioners.) Guaranteed to make you feel useful. How about this "Written Oath" from an internet store: "It is hardly responsible about the trouble of the internet store at all." Gets better and better.... And yes, there's a book: The Joys of Engrish.

http://www.pandora.com
Pandora is "a music discovery service designed to help you find and enjoy music that you'll love. It's powered by the Music Genome Project, the most comprehensive analysis of music ever undertaken. Just tell us one of your favorite songs or artists and we'll launch a streaming station to explore that part of the music universe. " Free subscription on registration for ad-supported version, paid subscriptions for ad-free version.

http://www.catgalaxymedia.com
"All cats! All the time!" Now your feline assistants can enjoy their own music live 24/7. Really. I'm not making this up. "We are an Internet radio and TV station specifically for cats to listen to and also watch. Meow Mixing Monday, Tuesday Night Cat Club, Wednesday Night Cat Attack, Thursday Night Purr Party, and the Friday Night Feline Frenzy ... Cat Galaxy is based in Scottsdale, AZ and broadcasts live 24/7 to a feline audience worldwide in 128k CD quality stereo... Cat Galaxy is also the first station to play the Feline Freeform format approved by cats." No, I don't know what that means.

http://www.coolbuddy.com/games/CaraySnake/CaraySnake.htm
Yet another time-waster, Caray Snake: You're a snake and have to find the path through the maze that lets you eat all the eggs (growing longer with each one) without meeting up with your tail. Instructions in French and English.

http://ibsys.oberon-media.com
/ You may never meet another deadline. Many games of all categories to download and play on a trial basis. They seem to mainly run on Windows 98 and above, try them in VirtualPC if blessed with a mac.

http://weboggle.shackworks.com
WEBoggle: Boggle online, multiplayer. New game every three minutes, so there is a natural limit for how much time away from that exciting annual report you can spend (unless, of course, you join in a new game...). In case you had a Boggle-deprived childhood, here are the rules: "When the timer starts, each player searches the assortment of letters for words of three letters or more (four or more on the 5x5 board). When you find a word, type it into the blank and press the ENTER key. Words are formed from adjoining letters. Letters must join in the proper sequence to spell a word. They may join horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, to the left, right, or up-and-down. No letter cube, however, may be used more than once within a single word....The winner is the player whose words have earned the most points."

http://www.totallyabsurd.com/archive.htm
Totally Absurd Inventions: "America's Goofiest Patents! Featuring Real, USA Patented Inventions!" Has to be seen to be believed. Check out the Patently Absurd Inventions Archive. I wonder if the US Patent Office has a "humor" keyword? If not - why not?

http://www.margaret-marks.com/Transblawg/index.html
I recently stumbled into Margaret Marks' "Transblawg" (Weblog on German-English legal translation). Have to put it in both the FUN and LEGAL resources category, because it's full of both.

http://www.iol.ie/~dluby/escape.htm
Graham Chave found this "cute little time waster". You move a red block to try to avoid converging blue blocks and the walls, and your score is your survival time. I haven't made it to half a second myself.

http://www.broenink-art.nl/maukie2.swf
Cass Greer says this virtual cat is "for all you who depend on feline assistants :) ."

http://www.mycathatesyou.com
Michelle Asselin found this amazing collection of cat pictures plus captions for a more realistic view of felinity.

http://pya.cc/pyaimg/pimg.php?imgid=18106
Cass Greer suggests this "homage to several classic video games" as a nice time waster. Apparently "quitting the game is not an option".

http://www.orbilat.com/Languages/French/Vocabulary/French-Uncensored.html
Billy O'Shea suggested this resource, I think after some people on Lantra revealed they simply start talking another language if caught by a telemarketer.

http://www.sorrygottago.com
On a related note—here is a collection of excuses you can use to get off the phone. I'm going to try this one next: "There's a fire drill."

http://www.tatteredcoat.com/archives/2005/09/28/the-shining-redux
Cass Greer found this gem to threaten your deadlines: "The Tattered Coat unearths this instant classic of movie advertising, that, without re-scripting a single line, casts a classic piece of terror in a new light." Follow the links to see more such mini-masterpieces in Quicktime format from the Trailer Park competition, "where assistant editors Œre-cut¹ trailers for famous movies to try and make them seem like different movies." Imagine The Shining as a family film, for instance.

http://home.rochester.rr.com/jbennett/nerd/n500test.html
Alan Johnson claims this is "the ultimate procrastinator: A mere 500 questions on nerdity or not." You get a report on your Nerdity Quotient. I'm a bit afraid to take the test, since just the first screenful of questions is loaded against me. Oh, wait--Number 17 is ok, I never had perfect attendance in school.

http://www.comedycentral.com/sitewide/game_player/gameplayer.jhtml?game=14579
Paul Gallagher suggests this time waster with all the fun of driving without the repair bills: "You're in a news truck that has to knock off the competition by ramming or sideswiping it in traffic. Hitting other vehicles or the guard rail costs you, hitting the competitor costs them. Wrenches are food. Win by reducing the competitor's energy to zero."

http://digitalgallery.nypl.org/nypldigital/index.cfm
Now that you have all that road rage out of your system, cool down with a look at the New York Public Library's online collection of digital photos: "NYPL Digital Gallery is The New York Public Library's new image database, developed to provide free and open online access to thousands of images from the original and rare holdings of the Research Libraries. Spanning a wide range of visual media, NYPL Digital Gallery offers digital images of drawings, illuminated manuscripts, maps, photographs, posters, prints, rare illustrated books, and more. Encompassing the subject strengths of the vast collections of the Research Libraries, these materials represent the applied sciences, fine and decorative arts, history, performing arts, and social sciences",

http://www.quantumpicture.com/Flo_Control/flo_control.htm
Here is a solution to a definitely not-fun situation if you have a cat, a cat door, and a plethora of bunnies and chipmunks and birds in the neighborhood. After I complained about having to spend two hours trying to rescue a non-volunteer in Oliver the Cat's "bring 'em home alive" program who got stuck under a bookcase, Margaret Schroeder suggested this very informative and persuasive site on Flo Control: "This is Flo. Her job is testing our image recognition algorithms..we have built a computer-controlled device that visually determines if Flo is carrying anything in her mouth when she enters [the cat door], and if she does, it simply does not let her in."

http://www.plumbingworld.com/ezfind.html
Yves Lanthier suggests this site for plumbing terminology, but also click on the "great quotes" link at the bottom for some distraction.

http://www.sheppardsoftware.com/Geography.htm
Free geography web games for many different areas of the world. Great for kids and those of us who are foggy about where we are at any given time.

http://www.palindromelist.com
"Palindrome: A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward." Alphabetized lists with some interesting illustrations... "A dog! Panic in a pagoda!"

http://www.scriptcrawler.net
This might actually sometimes be useful for (gasp!) WORK: A collection of tv, radio, movie, stage, and anime scripts.

http://archives.obs-us.com/obs/english/books/holt/books/maze/index.html
"Based on the book Maze, by Christopher Manson, this hyperlinked area allows you to move from room to room of a maze by selecting the door of the room you wish to enter...Your challenge is to find your way from room 1 (after the Prologue) to room 45 and then back to room 1 using the shortest possible path. There are any number of clues in the drawings and in the story to help you choose the right door in each room. Clues in a series of rooms may relate to one another, and may indicate a path. Other clues may refer to a specific door in a single room."

http://www.oedilf.com/db/Lim.php
This one (pointed out by someone on Lantra-L) has to be seen to be believed: OEDILF, The Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form. "The OEDILF Project, our online Limerictionary, is proud to present the work of writers living in 13 different countries in which English is spoken." Oh, yes. You can join the project...

http://www.netdisaster.com
Veronica Lambert Hall suggests that we vent our frustrations at this site: "You can subject your least favorite website to all kinds of vile attacks here... I have just nuked telefonica who have left me without a phone since Tuesday." Don't worry, no websites are harmed in this activity. The damage is seen only on your own computer screen.

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed
Chris. DeSantis found this wonderful guide to all the different types of Flame Warriors who appear in internet discussions, complete with appropriate pictures. Please contact the site administrator if you can contribute sightings of any new variants.

http://www.freeworldgroup.com/onlinegames/penga/index.html
Pengapop, a flash game (also available as downloadable version for mac and non-mac), lets you miss your deadlines helping a penguin shoot colored blocks (as in Breakout) to reach food.

http://www.zefrank.com/everysecond/index.html
Another time-waster: "Every Second Counts" -- all you have to do is hold down the mouse button for the exact period of time indicated. Simple, yes? Ha. Ha. Ha.

http://www.mirrorproject.com
A site for the reflective among you: The Mirror Project, a collection of pictures people took of their images on an amazing variety of reflective surfaces.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/hitchhikers/game.shtml
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in Flash!

http://www.patriciawells.com/glossary/french_english_food_glossary.pdf
Kirk McElhearn suggests this downloadable French>English food glossary. http://www.acmhainn.ie/tearmai/eolaiocht.htm
English>Irish technical glossary.

http://lingresua.tripod.com/online
http://lingresua.tripod.com/cgi-bin/oluaen.pl
The first link has information on several Ukrainian language resources and keyboards. The second link is for a handy Ukrainian-English online dictionary with a virtual keyboard (click on keys and copy into search box; seems to work for me even without the right encoding, although I have Russian keyboards and fonts installed). Will also bring up close matches and other grammatical forms.

http://unterm.un.org
United Nations Multilingual Terminology Database. 70,000 Entries in 6 official languages (English, French, Spanish, Russian, Chinese, and Arabic.).

http://un-interpreters.org/glossaries.html
Many different multilingual glossaries relevant to the work of the United Nations.

http://anubuzone.tripod.com/littlehamhams/id44.html
Billy O'Shea suggests this "eye test": "Do it quickly, just once, and don't cheat."

http://www.kontraband.com/show.asp?ID=1802
Rene von Rentzell recommends this time-wasting site for a free but potentially addictive game. They seem to change the games periodically.

http://www.borrett.id.au/computing/petals-j.htm
Robert Huff suggests this site for avoiding deadlines: "Play Petals Around the Rose...The computer will roll five dice and ask you to guess the score for the roll. The score will always be zero or an even number. Your mission is to work out how the computer calculates the score and become a Potentate of the Rose...However, you must pledge to be a cruel and heartless wretch who will never divulge the secret of the game to anyone else. Only those that can work it out for themselves should know the secret of Petals Around the Rose." Robert also suggests "there's more useful information on the following pages."

http://www.mariaclaudiacortes.com/
"Color in Motion" (English and Spanish) by Claudia Cortés. "An interactive experience of color communication and color symbolism." Besides finding out what colors mean in different cultures and times and what your favorite color reveals about you, don't forget to go through the Lab door for fun with the interactive kaleidoscope.

http://www.quirkyjapan.or.tv/
Rene von Rentzell, who just happens to live in Japan, also found this "Quirky Japan" site: "Are you tired of shrines and temples, reconstructed ferro-concrete castles and tea ceremonies? Do you like to get off the beaten track? Would you like to meet Japanese people who do not meet the conformist stereotype? Japan, behind the conservative grey suits and formal bows, is a country quirkier than you can ever imagine. The Quirky Japan Homepage provides information about oddities such as the The Meguro Parasitalogical Museum, the Thousand Person Bathtub, love hotels, temple lodging, and the Yakiimo man (the ice cream man's evil twin)." Don't forget to click on the television link, especially if you are under the illusion that US trash tv and reality shows are the worst...

http://www.fetchfido.co.uk/games/eskiv/eskiv.htm
Great time waster. Use arrow keys to move black ball around to grab gray squares without getting creamed by the moving little blue dots. Links to other free games also.

http://strindbergandhelium.com/
This is hard to explain: Basically, the Existentialist Strindberg is paired with a chronically cheerful talking pink balloon named Helium in some short web vignettes. But hey, you're looking for ways to avoid work, right?

http://www.fourmilab.ch/earthview/vplanet.html
An Earth and Moon Viewer: "You can view either a map of the Earth showing the day and night regions at this moment, or view the Earth from the Sun, the Moon, the night side of the Earth, above any location on the planet specified by latitude, longitude and altitude, from a satellite in Earth orbit, or above various cities around the globe." So you can pretend it's educational.

http://www.krakkabanki.is/utvarp/utvarp.swf
The Lazytown songs in the original Icelandic, including the impossible-to-get-out-of-your-head "Bing Bang". Just pick the song by clicking on the list and then hit the > play button. You mean you don't know what Lazytown is? Great distraction from work. Weird but mesmerizing live action/life-size puppet kids' show on Nickelodeon in the USA and YTV in Canada (based on characters well known in Iceland, where Lazytown is "Latibaer") featuring Sportacus (Icelandic fitness promoter Magnus Scheving) as the hyperathletic hero who goes to bed at 8:08 pm (sleep gives him super energy) and who eats lots of fruits and veggies (candy saps his energy) and pink-overloaded little Stephanie who breaks out in song and dance at the drop of a carrot. My fave is the villain, Robbie Rotten (Stefan Karl), who expends an amazing amount of energy trying to get them all to eat junk food and be lazy. Check out www.nick.com for more details and even music videos from the English-language show. Amazingly, the propaganda seems to work. In Iceland, they ran a game where the kids got reward points for eating good food and lost points for candy and soda, and Pepsi recorded a significant drop in sales... plus kids were complaining about getting cake and soda at birthday parties!

http://www.kodomo.go.jp/gallery/digi/KODOMO_WEB/index_e.html
Here is a pleasant interlude for procrastinators, complete with child-oriented drawings and songs from 1920's Japan: "The Picture Book Gallery No. 2 Exhibit centers around some 300 illustrations published in the Kodomo no kuni [Children's Land] picture book magazine during the first decade after its inauguration in 1922. Kodomo no kuni was one of the leading artwork-featuring journals for children... The magazine included pictures, stories, children's songs, dances, plays, and articles on handicrafts for young children." Click on the Children's Songs link and you can look at the pictures and Japanese words while listening to the songs. The Gallery (picture pages from the magazine with English translations of the titles) also gives links to some information about the artists.

http://www.lacota.net/alanna/britquiz.html
Alan Johnson says: "For the brits, britophiles and probably britophobes, test your britishness..." Be sure to check out the comic link for Here Be Dragons, yet another time-waster for the overworked. There is a PayPal tip jar on the first page leading to the comic, "All money donated goes towards feeding kittens!" You might have to click again on the comic link at the bottom of that page to get to the comic proper.

http://www.20q.net/index.html >BR>Twenty Questions with the computer: You choose a category (animal, vegetable, mineral), think of some object, and the computer asks you questions to try to figure it out. "20Q.net is an experiment in artificial intelligence. The program is very simple but its behavior is complex. Everything that it knows and all questions that it asks were entered by people playing this game. 20Q.net is a learning system; the more it is played, the smarter it gets." Actually rather fun, although I still don't know why the computer thinks a yam can swim.... (Methinks a previous player was trying to confuse the poor thing.)

http://www.pseudodictionary.com/
Just made for translators yearning to break free: "Welcome to pseudodictionary, the place where words you've made up can become part of an actual online dictionary". Searchable and browsable. Example: "halfwitticisms—Word puns and usages that only one person finds at all amusing--namely, the person who said them." Now, there's a useful word!

http://www.gallimard-jeunesse.fr/encyclopedia/home.jsp
Suzanne Bernard found this site. The French childrens' book publisher Gallimard Jeunesse provides this nice picture gallery of beautiful free images (can be downloaded and printed) on various subjects (nature, science, places in the world, , religion (includes holiday images), history, arts and recreation, etc.). For some nice info (in French) and images from their books plus a look at the "author of the month", click on the "Gallimard Jeunesse" title at the very top. You can avoid translation work while pretending you're just looking for "educational material" for your kids!

http://www.gloeckner-nbg.de/spielseite.htm
Well, this site that Michelle Asselin suggested for procrastinators should keep us all busy for a while avoiding work. Links to quite a few time-wasting games. You can even fling elephant dung at poachers in one of them. The site is German, but the game instructions seem to be mainly in English. But who reads instructions?

http://www.bl.uk/collections/treasures/digitisation6.html
Now, this is REALLY neat! Choppa Morph found this "page turner". Well, actually, it's called "Turning the Pages" from the British Library. "Just click on the links, wait a few moments, then turn the pages of our great books." You can choose "magnify" and move your mouse around to see enlarged sections of oldies but goodies that you would never be allowed to touch in the realspace library: Leonard Da Vinci's notebook, the Chinese Diamond Sutra ("the world's oldest, dated, printed book"), Blackwell's Herbal etc.

http://www.langmaker.com/db/eng_a2z_index.htm
Neologisms A-Z: Thanks to Franc Smrke for this one. How can you live another day without knowing this: An affpuddle is "a puddle which is hidden under a pivoted paving stone. You only know it's there when you step on the paving stone and the puddle shoots up your leg." Zlander means "to talk badly or disrespectfully about someone during sleep".

http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0504/shiningbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0704/alienbunnies.html
http://www.angryalien.com/0804/jawsbunnies.asp
Too busy to see movies? Peter Tuffley found this site of 30-second versions, "re-enacted by bunnies".

http://movies.yahoo.com/movies/feature/spiderman2qt.html
Still too busy for movies? Here's the short version of the battle between Spiderman and Doctor Octopus, with a cast of Lego characters and Lego sets... Strangely fascinating. But doesn't Doc Ock look like Elton John?

http://www.infinitecat.com/
Susan Larsson, of course, points out this site showing photos of a cat staring at a screen showing another cat staring at a screen showing another .... well, you get the point. It all started with Frankie the Cat, and the chain continues in The Infinite Cat Project (up to Cat #355 so far).

http://fixitnow.com/haiku.htm
Michael Osmann found this odd collection of "haikus you can use" with embedded repair tips from the Samurai Appliance Repair Man. What can you say about a site that ends with the invitation:

"Page of bad haikus,
surely you can do better.
Please click here to write."

http://www.catster.com
Jussara Simoes and feline assistant Lea not only found this site -- Lea joined it. Be forewarned -- your feline assistants may get more hits on their web pages than you do on yours.

http://www.richstevens.com/flash/iq.swf
Amy Bryant steers us to yet another "intelligence test." My score indicates I was "possibly dropped on head at birth." Well, I'm better at video games.

http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/
Amy Bryant also found this stash of "useless information" to keep us away from paying work.

http://www.freepgs.com/mindistortion/games/bubbles.htm
A bubble game to keep you non-busy.

http://www.worth1000.com/
"Worth1000 is the top creative competition and photoshop contest site on the web." Archived closed contests include "inappropriate uses for power tools", "famous people without any pants," "movie scenes you didn't get to see," etc. Click on the "galleries" link at the bottom for a long list. Browse the entries, waste lots of time!

http://www.wagenschenke.ch/
See how many meters you can guide the drunk toward home before he crashes on the sidewalk. (Really! In German...) Not very easy, probably since the guy keeps on drinking.

http://www.humanclock.com/
Click on the "view the clock" link. Every minute the picture changes, with different humans (and occasional non-humans) in pictures showing the exact time. Has to be seen to be believed. Analog and digital options, more submissions welcomed. You, too, can have your 1 minute of fame.

http://www.subservientchicken.com/
Type a command in the box and see if the guy in the chicken suit will do it. Yes, a real guy. In a real chicken suit. This isn't animation, folks.

http://www.weddingdressguy.com/
Just in case you missed the ebay auction that generated 17 million hits—here it is, archived in all its glory. Larry models his ex-wife's wedding dress and explains it all.... (Well, it worked. He sold the dress.)

http://www.miniclip.com/darts/mplayer.swf
Addictive darts game.

http://www.shockhaber.com/zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.htm
Carol Shaw posted this on Lantra: "Just in case you didn't have enough to waste your time..." Fellow Lantran Michael Osmann claims it isn't a time-waster, but actually "valuable practice for blackfly season in May." Diane Ferland recommends not swatting them and just watching them get bigger and bigger...

http://www.albartus.com/motas/
More rooms to lose yourself in, from Oana Popescu.

http://nlp.fi.muni.cz/~xsvobod4/amanita/samorost/intro.html
Another way to do anything but translate, from Oana Popescu.

http://www.papertoys.com/
Mirella Soffio gave us this way to procrastinate. All for the children's sake, of course.

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/
Also from Mirella Soffio. Not sure how to describe it, but I got tired just watching.

http://www.fasco-cs.com/works/viridian/index_e.html
If you made it out of the Crimson Room, Graham Chave provides this link for the Viridian Room and promises of more to come. (I'm still in the Crimson Room, napping on the bed.)

http://www.suite101.com/files/mysites/AskAlice/Clock.htm
Susan Larsson continues to amaze with more ways to avoid meeting our deadlines. She says this one is "for those with time on their hands... ." It only worked in Internet Exploder for me, but time will tell.

http://www.expression.philips.com.br/artes/venc2003/obrasflash/rmello/o_inco
modo.swf R. H. Stoll's contribution to the procrastination collection. His advice: "Keep your mouse bothering him."

http://www.clichesite.com/index.asp
Michal Molin posted this on Lantra: "ClichéSite.com has amassed a list of over 2100 clichés..." And of course fellow lantran Michael Burns chimed in "Well, I looked at it, and it didn't seem very original." Actually has explanations, so you can claim you're working.

http://www.dhmo.org/
Amy Taylor found this informative site on a clear and present danger. Don't take even one more sip of your 8 glasses a day until you read it.

http://www.dansdata.com/kitten.htm
Graham Chave points us to "an in-depth, perceptive review of an important computing accessory," complete with visual corroboration and entirely too many useful links for all conclusions. Plus a handy chart comparing kittens, puppies, babies, and new video cards.

http://www.animalsontheunderground.com/
Rene von Rentzell found this "time waster" for us. You'll never guess what Animals on the Underground is about unless you look.... Easily adapted to other habitats.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/systemisdown.html
Rene also passes along this gem. Will we ever get back to work? Hint: WAIT before you assume you've reached the wrong page ....

http://marie.epfl.ch/escher
Margaret Schroeder says: "Look out! If you found the snowflake-cutting pages too addictive, don't go near this site!" (Don't ask.)

http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
Michael Roehrig must be responsible for a lot of missed deadlines or at least unwashed dishes. He mentioned this "Whack the penguin" site on Lantra, and the list was soon cluttered with triumphant claims of high scores. I wish I could definitely say no penguins were harmed in this game, but it seems to depend on how exactly they land.

http://www.datacraft.co.jp/takagism/index_e.html
Laura Ballester innocently suggested: "See how long it takes you to come out of the room." on Lantra and once again, dishes were left unwashed, proofreading chores were set aside, and term queries were buried amidst the bragging. Please notice my lack of bragging. That's because I'm still in the room, taking a nap on the bed.

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/
The Dialectizer. Dorene Cornwell says "Should you be dissatisfied with websites in Regular English, I highly recommend this achievement in machine translation. It will translate the website of your choice into a number of special dialects including Redneck, Hacker, and Swedish Chef." Also Elmer Fudd and Pig Latin. Can use to dialectize any piece of text as well. Try it on your next translation, if you dare! Give a project manager a heart attack today.

http://www.stupidvideos.com/
Kirk McElhearn warns: "Cat-lovers beware..." He must have been talking about the Groove Kitty video ("Have some fun with a dancing cat"), but there are many, many more on various topics for every taste (or lack thereof).

http://upchucky.com/
Héctor M. Gayón pointed out this distraction, plenty of items to waste your time in Fun With Flash and The Game Room. Should be something to annoy and disgust everybody.

http://ccat.sas.upenn.edu/~haroldfs/popcult/handouts/comics/comics.html
Omar Johnstone says this is about "Language in popular culture" but it looks like comics to me... Also has links to various comics sites (where you can read archived strips until your deadline is missed).

http://www.oshea.dk/squirrel.htm
Billy O'Shea inexplicably suggests reading up on the Squirrel Liberation Front (conveniently providing appropriate background material on his very own web site).

http://start.earthlink.net/track?id=1024488&url=http://www.washme.com/
"Honor your dirty car" at the Wash Me site. Look at the pictures, get inspired. Unless of course, you find "www.washme.com" written in the dirt on YOUR car ....

http://www.student.ipfw.edu/~osbodr01/hallmarks/hallmark00.html
Chris DeSantis suggests this complete collection of Brooke McEldowney's Hallmarks of Felinity "if you like, don't like, understand, or misunderstand cats." Warning: Not for when you have a tight deadline.

http://itotd.com/
Kirk McElhearn found this distraction, "Interesting Thing of the Day." Very informative articles on the Interesting Things, so you can pretend you're working (all translators need to keep up on Interesting Things, after all).. You can even buy an Interesting Thing t-shirt, of course.

http://wordspy.com/
Jacques Clau found this site where you can also pretend you are working, "devoted to recently coined words and phrases, old words that are being used in new ways, and existing words that have enjoyed a recent renaissance." Well, you never know when you might need to translate metrosexual, coffee-spitter, patent troll, or Lake Wobegon effect.

http://www.wheresgeorge.com
http://www.whereswilly.com/
At first, I thought "Where's George?" was yet another George Bush parody site based on the "Where's Waldo" puzzles... But the George is actually George Washington, the first US President and the fellow whose mug graces the US $1 bill. Willy is Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the first French Canadian Prime Minister and the fellow who is on the Canadian $5 bill. Karin Zimmer (who also alerted us to coffee-spitter at WordSpy) found this way for US and Canadian translators at least to distract themselves. Pull out a bill, enter its serial number, and track its progress around the country. If nobody else has started tracking that bill, you will have to spend it first.... You may even find a bill with the url already marked on it! Folks outside the US and Canada can click on a sample report to see what all this is about. And yes, of course you can buy the t-shirt.

http://www.losers.org/
Lien from Lantra-L found this site that's perfect for professional web surfers: We can nominate web pages for the list of losers and also click on the already nominated links: "Losers. You know them. You've seen them on the street. You've seen them in the office. You've seen them at family reunions. Now they're on the Internet. And LOSERS dot ORG is your guide." Has to be in English, though: "There are undoubtedly plenty of losers who speak other languages, but we'll save them for another site. If we can't read it, they ain't losers. Mind, you pages in bad English are perfectly acceptable. " The losers are helpfully categorized. I'm afraid that I found the ones in the Trekkie category actually interesting, which tells you something. The entire staff of editors at www.losers.org also listed themselves amongst the losers, suggesting they are both fair and accurate.

http://www.polytechnique.fr/rech/lab/DCSO/index.html
Look for the animated icon down at the bottom of this page (describes a lot of my life and work).

http://www.google.com/intl/xx-bork/
Some things you just have to see to believe. News.com's always-interesting Random Access of July 21, 2003 reported that the Google search engine "still offers its site translated into the 'bork, bork, bork' dialect of the Muppets' Swedish chef. [Google executive Marissa] Mayer said she actually created the translation when she was working on Google's internationalization efforts--she didn't speak another language, so she picked the Muppet character's lingo. 'We actually do 100,000 pages or more a day in Bork,' Mayer said."

http://www.hamsterdance.com/
Howard Scott kindly provided the url for the original Hamster Dance. Er, Hampster Dance, actually, except in the url. Kind of hard to take your eyes (and ears) off it. Imagine—you can buy the cd. Following in the pawprints of Alvin and the Chipmunks, I guess.

http://www.hampsterdance2.com/hampsterdance2.html
Diane Di Biasio found the sequel: Hampster Dance 2. You can rearrange the dancers in this one. Move over, Hamtaro!

http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/english/
Haydn Rawlinson suggests "Clothes for your cat in Glorious Technicolor Japlish" to help wake you up during those all-night translations. Try not to let the Japlish style creep into your work, though: "Wow! Kind of scary! Am I?" or "A dress for all innocent, graceful lady cat!" might not get you much repeat business. Drag your mouse over the links to see the modeled clothing. The models look rather young and confused to me, perhaps the site should be reported for abuse of minors?

http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html
If the kitty clothes don't keep you awake, Haydn Rawlinson suggests "The Tales of the Plush Cthulhu." I can relate to this, although I always figured that my several dozen stuffed animals did more innocuous things (like having dance parties) while I slept. From the faq: "Question: Why in Heaven's name would someone make a stuffed version of an evil unholy creature? Answer: Something's got to keep all those unruly Beanie Babies in line." Makes sense to me. Will probably make even more sense to Lovecraft fans.

http://film.guardian.co.uk/quiz/questions/0,5952,724258,00.html
Claire Parker found this way to avoid work: taking a quiz to find out which superhero you are.... No surprise that I turned out to be Spider(wo)man. I've always liked spiders, and rent space on my walls to quite a few.

http://ccins.camosun.bc.ca/~jbritton/jbwarpmona.htm
Lysa Salsbury found this hands-on antidote to boredom. Good for the vindictive artist in you.

http://www.bcdb.com/bcdb/
If you're a cartoon fan... er, animation enthusiast looking for ways to avoid working, this is the place to go: The Big Cartoon Database. Has recent news on new and upcoming series/features as well as a huge collection of info on more cartoons than even I could watch in a lifetime. Did you know that two new NASA patches will feature Marvin the Martian and Duck Dodgers? Or that Carrotblanca starring Bugs Bunny will appear on the same DVD as Casablanca starring whats-his-name, that human guy?

http://www.mortystv.com/
If for some totally unfathomable reason you prefer to procrastinate with live-action tv shows rather than cartoons, here's a site to keep you occupied between deadlines: Morty's World of TV. Find out where you can watch those old tv shows that kept you from doing your homework, episode guides for your new and old favorites, who's still alive and who is making you feel really old by dying. Did you know that Hanna-Barbara actually made an animated version of Abbott and Costello? "Most of the episodes centered around various far-fetched schemes to get rich quick, all of which inevitably failed miserably." (Can't help it, I seem to zero in on the word "cartoon" wherever I go...)

http://www.spinner.com
Rasmus Carlsson says to "jack in your headphones and get rocking!" with this "wide selection of music channels" at Spinner to keep you going through those long nights at the keyboard ....

http://www.cs.stir.ac.uk/~scu/Humour/Science/research.html
Michael Molin highly recommends this absolutely VITAL Glossary for Research Papers. Quite accurate.

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Union/1669/Definitions.html
Definitions Not in the Dictionary, pointed out again by Michael Molin.

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Union/1669/Language.html
And for even more "Language Humor" -- check out this list of links (suggested by Michael Molin, of course).

http://www.livejournal.com/users/hornswoggle/
Jacques Schlesinger suggests this Museum of Hoaxes Journal for "rainy day" entertainment. Good lunchtime reading, too, as long as you're stuck at your computer anyway.

http://people.freenet.de/lichtsegen/tibet.htm
For some relaxation from work and fun, Werner Richter calls this a "Tibetan prayer mill" site: "nice if you're in a contemplative mood. Have the sound on, not to worry."

http://www.shagtown.com/days/
If you're looking for an excuse to celebrate a holiday, check out this Encyclopedia of Days. Karin Zimmer says "it seems to have all holidays in about every country on earth". I have personally been trying to convince people that Monday is my Sabbath for several decades ....

http://www.andreas.com/catman.html
Karin Zimmer suggests this "CAT User's Manual v. 7". Other interesting ways to avoid work at the site also, but the Gross Food page is not for lunchtime reading. Click on the Cat Pix link, and then the link to Theia's inspiring (though rather short) book on her successful battle against breast cancer: "Survivor!: A Cat Speaks Out."

http://www.rense.com/general28/tell.htm
Michelle Asselin says this site gives us useful advice on "how to tell if your cat is really an alien".

http://www.cknow.com/ckinfo/emoticons.htm
Héctor Gayón suggests this site for those ascii emoticons we all know and love that supposedly soften the blow when you've just posted a message to 15,000 people that your respected colleague Snodgrass is a complete twit. :-) The size of the list is positively mind-boggling. {8-o

http://www.angelfire.com/biz/drstorm/energy.html
Dagmara Meijers-Troller suggests this antidote for stressed out translators: "Just click on the link, relax and follow instructions."

http://www.naturesongs.com/
Helen Elliot suggests this site "for your listening pleasure."

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/
Intrepid web explorer Susan Larsson found this url for Tom Lehrer fans: "You can sing along to the music ... but—you have to use IE Explorer, doesn't work in either Opera or Netscape."

http://coll-ferry-montlucon.pays-allier.com/entomolo.htm
Uh, you'll just have to look at this peculiar list of insects (discovered by Michelle Asselin) for yourself.... French only, hélas.

http://www.cynicalbastards.com/wankometer/
Amy Bryant in the course of translation duty ran across this potentially useful site: "Welcome to The Wonderful Wankometer. This machine enables you to measure the quantity of Management Wank in a piece of text or web page. Simply type the address of a web-page, or paste some text into the box above and press the Start button. The Wankometer will return a Wank Factor which indicates the overall wankiness of the text."

http://ps.superb.net/cardtric/trmnolgy.htm
Michael Molin gives us the means to amaze our friends with this "card trick terminology" site.

http://www.seamonkeyworship.com/
Quirky site by a Sea Monkey fan. Even I was once tempted to order some from the back of a comic book, many years ago.... Frugality overcame the impulse, though.

http://pages.zoom.co.uk/carola.germany66/Translation/main.htm
Do you want to lose friends all over the world with your multilingual insults? Carola Urquhart can get you started, with English-German glossaries of insults for Bavaria and Vienna.... You also can pick up German/English volleyball terminology on this site, although now that you have no more friends, you will have to play by yourself.

http://www.cheeseracing.org
Lawrence Koch says here's where to go for "...cheese racing!"

http://www.buzzwhack.com
http://www.unblinking.com/heh/googlewhack.htm
Amy Bryant passed along this from John Walston, BuzzWhacker-in-Chief: "GOOGLEWHACK: The result of Googlewhacking, a game invented by search-obsessed fans of Google.com. Object: Type two words into the Google search line with the hope of getting a single search result. If you see "Results 1-1 of 1," you're a winner (and clearly have too much time on your hands)."

http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/292.html
Michael Grant pointed out this gem of a site, ostensibly in the midst of a conversation on cats (or was it on flat panel monitors?). Check it out when you're in serious need of a relatively nonverbal break. Be sure to explore all the archives....

http://www.ray3dzone.com/
Stephen Schwanbeck says, "I just found a 3-D site with pics, old comic book covers and other optical illusions. As if computer monitor glare weren't enough to bore holes into your eye sockets!"

http://www.joescartoons.com/
Ro Nordström says this site is "for those among us who are not only bored, but also twisted."

http://www.brainofbrian.com/madlibs.html
http://www.madlibs.org
http://www.rt66.com/~hubel/madlibs.htm
http://www.historylink101.com/games10/hill.htm
Stephen Schwanbeck offers "Madlibs" sites. The main site explains "The web page will prompt you for a number of words which it will use to fill the blanks in a text passage stored on this server. The results just may scare you." If you can't think of what to say in an answering machine message, for instance, this might help you get started....

http://www.altervistas.com
Yes, that's "altervistas" and not "altavista". Susan Larsson (who else?) suggests this peculiar site: "AlterVistas, the ongoing brainchild of two students from Bournemouth, England with nothing better to do. In the late summer of 2000, Ben Fryer and Peter Strange hit upon the idea of search engine for bizarre webpages, this idea grew and mutated into the site you see before you now."

http://www.ozchannel.com/vegemite/veglouvre/index.html
Ran into this reinterpretation of some masterpieces by vegemite fanatics while trying to find out how to eat some vegemite I bought (not bad spread lightly on crackers, by the way)...

http://www.etown.edu/vl/radio.html
Susan Larsson suggests this site for the speedily connected who want some online aural distraction while working: "Live International Radio and Television Broadcast Listings".

http://www.halfbakery.com/
Lantra's resident Funologist Susan Larsson points out this site and says "Don't blame me if you get a late start after reading about such inventions as nuclear flower stations—'appease the greenies while generating power'...."..

http://www.playcat.it/purr.htm
Well, it's sort of an Italian-English glossary of the food, toys, etc. that some pampered Italian cats like. The English is a tad quirky, but you never know when you might have to translate something about feline favorite things. The rest of the site may provide some helpful Italian vocabulary also (well, at least some nice cat pictures....)

http://www.mcspotlight.org/
Stephen Schwanbeck found this definitely unauthorized site about McDonald's beyond the Golden Arches.

http://www.uebersetzung.at/twister/
Stephen Schwanbeck also discovered this distraction: "1st international Collection of Tongue Twisters. 2003 entries in 87 languages." Stephen provides these two examples: "Je suis ce que je suis et si je suis ce que je suis, qu'est-ce que je suis?" and "Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?"

http://web.indstate.edu/wvwgs/Personal/Frogs/frogswebpage.html
Another excuse to delay work from Susan Larsson.

http://www.mrsstewart.com
If you're looking for ways to procrastinate, read the fascinating history of Mrs. Stewart's Bluing (and learn how to get those dingy whites looking like new again, especially important for busy translators with little time for laundry). Mrs. Stewart's stern image also can be used to make a good "Get back to work!" sign.

http://www.univision.com
http://www.telemundo.com
Sue Horn passes on these sites for Spanish-language TV channels on the Web (originally from Mónica Adler on Translist). Okay, the news shows can't really be classified as "fun," but most of the rest may qualify....

http://www.amused.com/index.html
Susan Larsson, who seems to specialize in FUN, says this site is perfect for "the easily amused."

http://www.comfm.com/live/radio/.
François Lavallée told us about this bonanza for those who like to use their expensive computer to listen to radio shows. Full directory of online radio stations, categorized by country and by type (e.g., classical music, news).

http://www.aa.tufs.ac.jp/~jwb/clippy.gif
Graham Chave says this is "another Microsoft helper." Well, I've certainly felt like this while working in Word 98!

http://www.zompist.com/numbers.shtml
Here's a site that will help you impress your friends at parties: Numbers from 1 to 10 in Over 4500 Languages. Paul Frank says, "Includes overview of the various language families and the names of thousands of languages."

Asterix fans, these next few items are for you! Courtesy Manon Bergeron.

http://www.univ-mulhouse.fr/~mage/riviere/bd/asterix/asterix.html
In French, of course, by a "passionate" fan of Asterix.

http://www.aunet.org/thaths/asterix/
The Asterix Annotations Version 3.0 (English and American Translations).

http://lcg-www.uia.ac.be/~erikt/asterix/welcome.shtml
The International Asterix Page.

http://www.deev.com/asterix/Asterix/SitesAsterix.html
In French. "Lots of links to Asterix pages."- MB

http://www.gironet.nl/home/idefiks/asterix.htm
The Asterix Wall of Honor. "This site gives a list of translators of Asterix books."- MB


http://ignobel.org
When work gets boring, go watch the video of the entire October 5, 2000 Ig Nobel awards ceremony (for achievements that "cannot or should not be reproduced"). To give you an idea of the tone: Regular (not Ig Nobel) Nobel Laureate William Lipscom (Chemistry, 1976) was the prize in the Win-a-Date-with-a-Nobel-Laureate Contest.

http://www.sci.kun.nl/hfml/frog-ejp.pdf
A typical 2000 Ig Nobel Prize winner: Andre Geim of the University of Nijmegen (the Netherlands) and Michael Berry of Bristol University (UK), "for using magnets to levitate a frog and a sumo wrestler", according to APS News (December 2000). Really, I'm not making this up. The pdf file gives the whole journal article, Eur. J. Phys. 18 (1997) pp 307­313, although I could only find mention of the frog... Froggie takes a nice picture, though.

http://www.bitboost.com
Check out the free demo of "TileTag", a game that teaches Japanese hiragana and katakana characters at the same url. The same home page features PawSense: software that knows when a cat is bouncing across your computer keyboard and keeps kitty from wreaking too much further havoc by disabling the keyboard until a human returns. Chris Niswander has just been awarded the year 2000 Ig Nobel Prize for Computer Science for his PawSense software. We first alerted readers to Pawsense back in December 1999, since translators seem to have a disproportionate number of feline assistants. They've jazzed up their web site since last year, with nice pictures of cats in action and new independent reviews. It's still only for the mac-deprived, though, so mac'ers should keep annoying Chris until he comes to his pawsenses and makes a mac version

http://www.assignmenteditor.com/timewasters.htm
Susan Larsson, the never-ending source of ways to avoid work, passes along this url (needs Shockwave for most games):"Play fling the cow, watch the eyeballs watch you.., pop the bubble wrap, whatever tickles your fancy." My personal favorite links from this page are indicated below.

http://www.colonize.com/warp/index.html
Well, talk about the US Election 2000 was banned from Lantra-L by an angry mob, but you can mold the winner and loser (whichever) to your heart's desire at this site. Just click and drag any spot on their faces to add visual distortion to the other kinds common to politicians. You can even print out your final version.

http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html
"Let the hours waste away with the PERPETUAL BUBBLEWRAP! For the ultimate in time wasting, simply roll your mouse over the bubble wrap to see and hear a satisfying 'pop' as the bubble bursts. bursts. Trouble is, the bubbles come right back after a bit, so it is—we are proud to announce—well and truly useless!"

http://www.wolinskyweb.com/word.htm
Iris Heres says this is "An amazing collection of sites about fun with words."

http://www.learnlink.emory.edu/peep/surgery.html
Susan Larsson says this is for "anyone who has ever enjoyed peeps at easter... or not...". Really worth a look! Especially if you are immersed in yet another pointless "animal experiment" translation as dawn breaks and have to fight the urge to put the principal investigator in a water maze. Don't forget to click on the Peep Home Page button for still more Peep fun. Lots of pictures, so even if you have no idea what a Peep is— you will soon find out.

http://sodaplay.com/constructor/index.htm
Another one from Susan Larsson, who obviously is entirely too distractable (at least in the wee hours of the morning, when she says she finds such things). At first glance, this seemed to potentially take more thinking than I am capable of at that hour (it's all I can do to proofread), but I found you can just wiggle your mouse around and play reasonably mindlessly without even reading the instructions.
http://www.rcdb.com/
Manon Bergeron was amazed to stumble on The Roller Coaster Database, with "statistics on 652 roller coasters from 251 parks located in 3 countries. There are 726 pictures in the database."

http://www.tiddlywinks.org/lexicon/
Victor Dewsbery CLAIMS that he was "looking for something else" when he stumbled on this source of all things tiddly. The author of the lexicon says, "Winks has a vocabulary and subculture all its own. For instance, you might overhear at a tournament "I can't pot my nurdled wink, so I'll piddle you free and you can boondock a red. But if Sunshine gromps the double, I'll lunch a blue next time." Well, now you have a reason to go consult the lexicon.

Hans Fisher (Fisher International Services) translates a different Ted Goff cartoon (“Mostly Business”) into German every day here:
http://www.geocities.com/wallstreet/9254/
You can click on a link to see an English Ted Goff cartoon also, although the translation appears at a different time than the original. But that gives you two laughs for the price of one!

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/laszlo_gabris/other.htm
László Gábris invites us “to check out the translation-related humor section under Blooper Brigade and Humor.” Definitely worth a look!

http://www.medscape.com/Home/library/library.html
DeFUNitions: A Lighter Look at Medical Terminology. Okay, this won’t help your translations at all.... but it’s fun! Also has a random generator of DeFUNitions.
 
http://hisurf.com/cgi-bin/DM/hawaiian_name.cgi
“Here’s a tool that’s simply cool: Find Your Hawaiian Name.”—CH, WebToday

http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/
“The Internet Anagram Server will take any word or phrase and find it’s anagrams. WebToday Destinations yielded, among others: A Bad Destiny News I Toot.”—CH, WebToday

http://www.centurionndt.com/eddy.htm
The Principles of Eddy Current Testing by Dr. H. A. von Flugen, M.B.S. I stumbled on this during a SERIOUS search for information, but was tipped off by the footnote to the term “eddy currents": “Less commonly—and more formally—referred to as ‘Edward Currents’". It goes downhill (and in circles) from there.

http://www.centurionndt.com/glossary.htm
Be sure to also check out the good Doctor von Flugen’s Glossary of Terms here. This starts out with:
A.C. Alternating Current. Hence, a pulsating raisin.
ABSOLUTE CAPACITANCE “I just couldn’t eat another bite.”
etc. etc. etc.

http://www.eurotv.com
Want to see descriptions of your favorite tv shows in German? You might find some of them in the German version of TV Guide here.

http://www.clicktv.com
Oh, if you MUST have English-this is a good site to get a full schedule of TV programs (complete with short descriptions) for broadcast, cable, and satellite.

http://www.usafa.af.mil/dfp/classes/215/apps/shiva/
If you’re into accelerators at all, this piece is full of fun information about the real-life hazards. Really! For instance, there was the time that they almost shot up the parking lot.... Search for “Folklore” to get to the good stuff. http://www.stairhaven.demon.co.uk/
Paula and Steve’s Misery Pages. “... one of the best personal homepage parodies I’ve ever seen complete with useless links, photos of people they don’t know and hobbies they don’t have.”-CH, WebToday. If you’ve ever been annoyed when a web search accidentally leads you to an irrelevant home page, this site’s for you.

http://www.uky.edu/~holler/periodic/periodic.html
A Comic Book Periodic Table. “Click on any element for illustrations of that chemical’s effect on various comic book figures.”-CH, WebToday. Great scans of real comic book pages!

http://www.forwiss.uni-erlangen.de/~kinderma/musinum/InternetMusic.shtml
“The Music of the Internet takes your IP address and converts the numbers into a little song that plays when you visit the page.”-CH, WebToday. Weird, but perhaps just what we need as we surf around the web during the wee hours trying to meet a deadline! You can download a free Windows version for your continuing delight, or just visit this page and enter any IP address and hear it play.

http://birdsource2.ornith.cornell.edu/cnbn/nestboxcam.htm
Nest-Box Cam: Private moments in the lives of a bird family are broadcast to the world every three minutes during the breeding season. Archives of previous pictures also available for the dedicated birder voyeur.

http://www.citycat.ru/cats/
Well, I guess I should blame Igor and Konstantin for this “Russian Cats Collection,” since I stumbled on it accidentally through the APORT! search engine they recommended.... Has both Russian and English pages, check them all out since they have different stuff on them. The pictures are universal, of course.

http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/cgi-bin/nut_search.pl
Do you need to choose the right eatable-at-the-computer food to avoid self-destructing nutritionally as you sit hunched over your keyboard for hours on end to meet a deadline? Do you want to prove to doubters that your favorite snackies are good for you? Search the USDA food database for complete info! Calories, fiber, protein, fat, vitamin and mineral content.

http://goan.com/radio.html
You paid thousands of dollars for that computer, why not use it as a radio?“The International Internet Radio Stations page lists dozens of stations that can be heard over the Web with a simple click of your mouse.”—CH/WebToday.

http://www.buffnet.net/~mikel/msvs.html
“[Microsoft] Word not only checks your spelling, it reviews your grammar too and provides suggestions on sentence structure, word usage and ease of reading. Word uses its own logic when it comes to the English language though and the authors of this site have exploited that fact to the fullest comic extent. It’s an all out fight to the death as Word takes on The Mayflower Compact, The Declaration of Independence, The Gettysburg Address and others.”—CH/WebToday

http://www.westegg.com/cliche/
“Cliches are easy pickings. They’re easy as pie. I take as many out of my writing as I can, after all, easy come, easy go. The Cliche finder will take a key word and return relevant cliches in a snap. One might say it’s as easy as shooting fish in a barrel.”—CH/Weboday

HREF="http://www.stampshows.com/translate.html">http://www.stampshows.com/translate.html
Do you want to know how to mark that airmail envelope or read that web page advertising another stamp collector's wares half a world away? Lucky you! Here's a page with philatelic words and phrases in several languages.

http://www.unitedmedia.com
You no longer have to subscribe to the whole dull newspaper to read the comics page. Skip all the bad news, bad advice, and incomprehensible economic forecasts and enjoy the archives!

http://www.foxtrot.com
Here's an example of a web site dedicated to one comic strip. In addition to archives of old FoxTrot comic strips, it also has fun stuff to download such as a free Quincy the Iguana screensaver for the mac.

http://tv.cream.org/arkcrest2.htm
This British site made my day—history and biting commentary on favorite and not so favorite junk food (soda, candy, chips, etc.). Let me tell you about the time I tried to place a software order with a mailorder salesperson on her second shift and at least fifth can of Jolt.... Check out other areas of http://tv.cream.org also if you are into pop culture, UK-style.

http://www.pbs.org/redgreen
Okay, I admit it, I am hooked on the Canadian tv show Red Green ("duct taped in front of a live studio audience") after a hard week at the computer keyboard (which in my case really is held together with duct tape....). This PBS site provides more than you ever really wanted to know about the Handyman's Handyman ("If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy" and "If it ain't broke, you're not trying"). Check around for any of your favorite PBS shows on the general site.

http://www.edition-peters.de/postkarten/liste.html
Bettina Winterfeld passes along this spot on the web where "you can send 'electronic postcards' (short pieces of classical music) to your friends."

http://flail.com/kafaq.html
The quite decadent Kool-Aid Faq—all about Kool-Aid by quirky fans. Includes instructions for mixing current flavors to get extinct flavors, how to dye your hair with Kool-Aid, other Kool-Aid links, and of course a French/English glossary of Kool-Aid flavors from the Canadians. (Bet you didn't think this was relevant to the Translation Journal! Hah!) Any unanswered questions can be directed to the Kool-Aid newsgroup alt.drinks.kool-aid.

http://www.ingenius.on.ca/james/peznotes.html
Moving right along to solid junk food—here is a collection of Strange PEZ facts, complete with images of some famous and infamous PEZ candy dispensers.

http://kids.discovery.com/KIDS/sharkcam.html
Shark Cam! See what your favorite shark is doing right now! Or check out the other "cams" on the page: Ant-Cam, Puppy-Cam, Penguin-Cam, etc. I'm still waiting for Translator-Cam myself.

http://www.bitboost.com/pawsense/index.html
Margaret Marks suggests this "cat-typing detector" for those of us with feline office assistants. Yes, PawSense is software that will detect tell-tail signs of kitty on the keyboard and will block characteristic kitty-like typing, and even will attempt to train kitty to stay away by obnoxious sounds (probably futile with my crew, they like it when my mac frantically beeps at them). My own feline assistant just tried to delete the URL above and replaced it with the cryptic 8777, so the cat community must be really worried about this latest inroad on their freedom of expression. Needs Windows 95/98; the mac version isn't ready yet, but they provide an e-mail address for mac'ers to ask to be put on the notification list.

http://www.boowaquoila.com/
Shannon Armstrong says "This site is so much fun! It is for little kids and it is all in French—lots of pictures and sounds so it is good for teaching kids French." Sounds good for the young at heart also.

http://www.tigertech.com/hlights.html
Veronica Lambert Hall says "try this site for flashing Christmas lights to decorate your screen!" For Macs (System 7, 8, and 9) and Windows 95/98.

http://www.sandiegozoo.org
Panda Cam! Be a Peeping Tom and watch Hua Mei (first surviving giant panda to be born in the US, last August at the San Diego Zoo) do her stuff. Just hit the link to Panda Central on this page.

http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/gmdhtml/gmdhome.html
Phil Ball warns that a visit to this site "could lead to late delivery of projects pending" for map lovers.

http://wsp3.wspice.com/~dpannell/beatles/Welcome.html
Diane Di Biasio says "Sing along to your favourite Beatle song as you work through the night"!


http://www.angelfire.com/tx2/wavinbean/wavs.html
Diane Di Biasio pronounces this "the sweetest site I've seen". A nice dose of cuteness for the jaded translator. Oh, also lots of WAV files for your computer listening pleasure.